I want to express my thoughts on this topic but I don't know that I will be able to accurately portray them.
I started pondering the paradoxes of women and their self or portrayed body image this weekend as I watched a bartender in her tight jeans and short shirt, exposing a skinny but un-toned midriff and love handles. While I admire her confidence to dress as such, I felt it was not a delightful sight to see. Of course, I was in a biker bar and the guys, I'm sure, didn't mind at all.
Why are women so judgmental of others? Why do we decide what someone else should or should not be wearing? Do we hold ourselves to these same standards? Are these standards holding ourselves back from accomplishing our goals and a better self-image?
I believe "strong is the new skinny". I look at skinny people and find them to be unappealing. I look at strong women, regardless of their dress size, and find them much more appealing and usually portray a more vibrant air of self-respect and overall positive outlook. One of my goals is to lose weight, but this is not to attempt to become "skinny", I want to lose fat and build muscle to become "strong".
I cannot determine if my judgments towards others are holding me back. I don't compare the "skinny" ones to how I look but I do question what they see in the mirror when they look at themselves. As do I. If they see something worthy of wearing those tight jeans and short shirt, am I looking to closely at the reasons why I think I shouldn't be wearing those tight jeans and short shirts? Is my perspective of myself holding me back or motivating me? If it's motivating me, what am I being motivated toward? To being "skinny"? I don't want to be "skinny" so then starts the battle of self-image and wondering if I'm holding myself back due to being unable to quit fighting with myself.
"Strong" women I admire dress much more understated, respectful. This starts an entirely new inner battle. If I get "strong" am I allowed to wear what the "skinny" girls are wearing? Their clothes are cute. They are small. This is what society has taught us, to be "skinny", to wear those size 0 jeans. So, here I am, conflicted. Frustrated. Loathing the societal ideal that women are to be "skinny" not "strong". Wondering if I will have acceptance as a "strong" woman. Will I accept myself?
Oh wow! I am so glad I read this! I do the same thing. I also try to imagine what people say about me. I want to be the skinny, the size 0 and all of that but because I am curved I cant be a 0, unless I get my hips shaved off hehe. But I always look at people and say whoa, why is she wearing that, but your right, at least she is confident enough to do it! Seriously awesome~
ReplyDeleteDon't get me wrong. I know many strong women that are also a size 0. My point is, I'm not going to give up being strong just so I can be skinny enough to wear a size 0. If I will be a size 6 but I'm happy with how I look and feel then I will be a 6. I'm not going to destroy myself to strive to fit into a smaller size.
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